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.Saturday, September 12, 2009 ' Y

All I have..♥

Well Hari Raya is so coming soon! So i'm gonna wish everybody A very happy Hari Raya!
May this Hari raya is a memorable one for u guys!!

Nenek, i will always miss you, hoping you were always here when Raya comes around. I miss you alot, even though i seriously can't remember the love you once showered me, Selamat Hari Raya..Same to you abah, imy soooo much.

imy.

Hah i looked so excited, but i don't know why, this year's raya isn't like fun for me.. I don't know why seriously. This ramadhan just made me a wiser person, a more matured human being on earth, made me realised whats worth it, what's wrong and right to do. And that humans just see the [WRONG-DOINGS] u did, but they just fails to see the [GOOD-THINGS] you do. That's life. All this just making me grow up maturely.How i wish everybody loved me sincerely, and accept the who i am. i know i'm bad, but i told my aunt this phrase, which kept her in silence,"memang semua orang pada mulanya jahat, tapi satu hari dia akan berubah, cuma sekarang belum masanya je." i said that to her. And i told mum," orang hanya nampak keburukkan kita.. dan kalau nak cakap tu, biar fikir dua kali," she agreed, but actually i said that TO her. so that she would realised it. [To my beloved family, im sorry if i had done bad all this while, it's my bad, i know. mum, i always shout at you, but actually i don't mean it. anak mana yang nak kurangajar dengan mak sendiri? But have you guys ever asked, why i change alot? what makes me change? huh??]
I know i changed alot. lagi2 sejak this fasting month. You guys think im perfect and that i have to do everything for you?! im just a human, don't rely everything on me. I just fOught with my 2nd bro this morning. he almost punched me, i swear. cause i shouted to mUM. i was so emotional today. Ngah jokingly armed a knife at me, so i said, "anu betol2 lah, mati lagi bagos, tak susahkan hidup orang lain" well i miss my mum, the time we were in nice condition, now, sikit2 mad at me, always in tensed! Im sorry i shouted to you guys,im sorry i disrespect. I wished i hadn't been born like this. Ngah said "asalla kau kurang ajar gini" which then made me noticed, everyone at home is hating me! i Don't meant anything to them. i deserved this.
So I'm gonna make sure this raya, im going to beg forgiveness from my mum, and perhaps everyone.Hope i could make it. Im just waiting for the time i will cHAnge into a better person. Ia akan mengambil masa yang lama, dan takda orang tau betapa susahnya nak buang sapa diri kau yang sebenar, sesuatu yang sudah sebati dgn diri aku. apa yang aku tahu, ada satu orang je yang faham susah payah aku ni, [ALLAH swt].

IMY.

Mimi, i lov you alot. But sorry i changed to the worst, you just won't understand why. To my two bro's, i love you guys alot! Keep that in mind always.

I just need you guys to love me! Thats all.

Have i ever asked for anything in sense of money, when i know you guys can't afford. Have i asked for anything?! Have you guys wonder what's my problem or how i feel? Have you guys ever gave me your support, when im so down, or when i need you guys around. it's you who's unsupportive! Never gave me hope, but scold me "stupid". Huh. I felt bad talking bout my fams here, but i need somewhere to let this out. Have you ever asked if i'm tired before you guys ask me to do this and that??
Think, just think hard.

Yesterday i went to bazaar gelyang with Aisyah. Was so fun but tiring coz we walked alot. There were so much baju kurung stall.But i did shopped alot. And i bought a necklace with my name for 15bucks. Haha i love it alot. and Aisyah have to break fast at my house. Haha i had a fun time. If i'd gone there with more people, it would be double the fun.

so i gtg, tc people!!

Im hurt again.. ;
♥ My L O V E For You will never end. @ 7:44 AM